Peppino Spaghetti Vs. Dynamite Anton (Pizza Tower Vs. Antonblast) Blog
“Fuck you, Norway!”
-Joel Vargskelethor
Peppino Spaghetti, the Supersonic Italian Middle-aged Man.
Anton Ball, the Reddest Guy in the Universe.
When life gives you lemons, you scream like a wild animal and bite life’s face off and go to jail for 30 years. Peppino and Anton WILL fight in this exciting blog!
Canon material will be used for both. Peppino will be drawing from Pizza Tower mainly, as well as some scant comics and drawing, Peppino will also be getting his official Rivals of Aether mod. Anton will be getting AntonBlast, Antonball and Antonball Deluxe and some tweets cause they’re funny.
As for the elephant in the room, Peppino and Anton will be getting no scaling to each other. They have an extensive history of crossing over in comics, official memes, Peppino appearing in Antonball Deluxe as a guest character, them being (possibly canonically) married. For the sake of this blog, this will all be excluded.
Background
Peppino Spaghetti
Before Peppino was our beloved hero, he was actually a villain named “Chef Raider” in the 1996 video game called Pizza Boy Tower where he was thwarted by Totino the Pizza Boy.
After that, Peppino seemingly gave up on villainy and became a pizza restaurant owner. When the portly Italian was sitting in his restaurant, contemplating how to keep up on his rent he was suddenly approached by the villainous Pizzaface, who informed Peppino he was planning on obliterating Peppino's restaurant for no real reason. This (understandably) set off Peppino in which he blitzed out of the building to the mysterious Pizza Tower to defeat Pizzaface and save his beloved restaurant.
Anton Ball
As Satan himself stirred in his kingdom, he spoke to his beloved magical mirror of question-based magic. He asked the mirror a question to simply stroke his ego of who is the reddest individual around, to his shock the mirror responded with the one and only Dynamite Anton, real name Anton Ball (Yes, really). This infuriated Satan to the point he called upon his army of moles to destroy what Anton loves very most in the whole world.
His alcohol.
The moles raided Anton's apartment as he and his roommate Annie slept, stealing all of his beloved spirits and leaving him low and sober. Anton declared on the spot to find and pulverize whoever has caused this. While we don't know much about Anton outside of that, we know he enjoys a good drink, demolition and is a single father to his pink hedgehog daughter Amy.
Intelligence and Experience
Peppino
Is Peppino a war veteran?
No.
When prompted on what Peppino thought of TF2 on twitter, McPig replied with a joke that it “hits too close to home”, heavily implying that Peppion is a war vet. This was later clarified as in fact not true and likely something Peppino imagined. Even without this, Peppino is surprisingly intelligent in the game. He can figure out all sorts of mechanics and puzzles even when being bombarded by enemies at all time
Anton
Anton is quite experienced in a fight as he’s been in his fair share of bar tussles and sewer spats. He can figure his way through intentionally confusing and roundabout levels and Satan’s tricks, as well as being a good puzzle solver and picking up on mechanics quickly.
Skills and Abilities
Peppino
Mach Run
Peppino’s signature is his blinding speed despite being in his 50s. With enough build up Peppino can charge and slam through entire stages with ease.
Grab Dash
When taking on the foes of the Pizza Tower, Peppino will dash forward and grip them in his sweaty mitts. After grabbing a hold of his foe he can either punt them forward into other foes or deliver a devastating pile driver that’s sure to put a stop to most any foe.
Body Slam
Peppino can slam down on his foes with a mighty belly flop. This is especially useful for smashing metal boxes to pieces when Peppino can’t build up speed to mach 3 or 4.
Rising Uppercut
Peppino cna perform a mid air uppercut whenever he’s in need of extra height, or to bash a foe above himself.
Super Jump
Seven has displayed the odd skill to mimic special techniques just with a quick look
Taunt
Peppino has the ability to TAUNT like no other. While this may seem like a cosmetic move exclusively, it actually works as a parry that makes Peppino temporarily invincible to oncoming attacks.
Super Taunt
If Peppino has a combo above 10 and then taunts, he will perform a powerful Super Taunt which wipes out all enemies on screen.
Regeneration
Despite the extreme levels of punishment and pain Peppino received in his adventures, he always manages to bounce back, even recovering snapped bones and missing teeth in seconds. He can also regenerate from being shoved into an animatronic suit, FNAF style.
Non Physical Interaction
Peppino is capable of destroying ghosts with his super taunt or guns.
Resistances
-Extreme heat: Is fine after eating a pizza so hot that it makes him spew flames from his mouth.
-Extreme cold: Is fine in the Refrigerator-Refrigerador-Freezerator which is so cold it can freeze fire.
-Transmutation: Can recover from being turned into a pizza.
Anton
Clutch ‘n’ Bash
Anton's signature technique in which he charges forward with devastating effect.
Hammer Spin
When in the air, Anton can perform his hammer slam technique where he uses the power of his weight and hammer to become an unstoppable falling force. If he wishes he can also bounce off the floor to achieve greater heights.
Antomic Bomb
Anton’s ground pound technique used to be a hammer slam, but he got bored so he used his FACE. With a little extra velocity this move becomes even stronger than his hammer attacks and can smash weights he normally can’t
Scream
With the press of a button, Anton can let out a guttural roar, forever, and ever. He can scream with such force it pushes smaller enemies back.
Regeneration
Anton can survive being mangled and crushed seemingly anyway with little long lasting consequences. Most impressively, Anton can seemingly regenerate from just his soul.
What the FUCK
So, uh, this kinda just happens?
It’s never elaborated on but do what you want with this. Anton might have Gold Experience Requiem guys.
Resistances
-Chemical warfare: Anton is unaffected by wearing the Metal Manton skin, which is described as him being “covered head to toe in a poisonously gorgeous sheen of Lead Filled Paint!”
-Transmutation: Anton can revert from being turned to stone in seconds.
Arsenal
Peppino
Revolver
When facing off with the Vigilante, Peppino wielded a revolver with seemingly endless ammo. He can fire rapid fire single shots, or charge up for a big more powerful shot.
Shotgun
When Peppino needs to lock the FUCK in he pulls out a powerful shotgun capable of mowing down any foe in his way.
Chicken Wing
A spicy chicken wing that Peppino can eat. Upon consumption Peppino will start spewing flames out of his mouth with such ferocity he can propel himself like a rocket.
Satan’s Choice
A super spicy pizza that gives Peppino an insane adrenaline boost, making him stronger and more durable as well as letting him spin and fly. Peppino can only revert out of this form by drinking a glass of milk.
Weenie Mount
Peppino can mount a wild weenie which will charge forward through any and all obstacles.
Rocket
A rocket which Peppino rides, with a bit of force he can maneuver it whichever way he likes and slam through barriers.
Barrel
A barrel Peppino can sneak inside to roll down slopes and slam through enemies.
Mort the Chicken
Mort the Chicken from the PS1 game Mort the Chicken, after saving the spherical Earth from the invasion of cubes from an alternate dimension who think the hay bales on the farm are their cube children who chickens have kidnapped and eat (yes that’s the actual plot of the game) Mort appears inside the Pizza Tower to help Peppino in his adventures. He grants Peppino a double jump and attacks enemies for him.
Anton
F’N Hammer
Anton’s greatest weapon and love interest. When Anton puts his mind to it, this hammer will carry him through any obstacle, quite literally most of the time. He can perform a hammer spin and hammer vault if used in mid air. Anton can also use his hammer to grind on rails like a skateboard..
Balls
What’s a demolition man without his balls? Anton is a master of playing with his balls. He primarily uses these for smashing through bricks and walls in the sewers of Boiler City though they are also handy for bopping enemies; Anton can upgrade to a golden ball which doesn’t bounce off bricks but goes right through them instead. Anton can also bring multiple balls into play when he grabs the tri-ball power up.
Gun
Anton has the power up of just straight up using a fucking gun. The weapon appears in Antonball and Antonblast as a way for Anton to use a little extra firepower. He also gets a badass cowboy outfit when using it.
Jetpack
Anton can dawn a jetpack to soar through the air. He can also charge with extra speed to do greater damage.
Sewer Shark
Anton can ride these odd creatures found in sewers, they’re strong enough to ram through anything.
Segway
He can ride around like got dang Paul Blart on this thing !
Mech
When Anton needs to get shit done, he’ll hop into his mech suit from Alien to mow down foes with its exploding chainsaw cannons capable of blasting through anything in Anton’s path.
Anton’s Dog
Anton owns a dog which he loves very much, it can assist Anton in finding objects on his adventures.
Shutter Shades
When Anton feels like being 50% blind, he whips out these bad boys! They’re stylish though.
Cowboy Hat
Anton’s cool cowboy hat that he can wear. If you don’t see it, it’s the slight black line at the top of the screen. That is the entire effect.
Forms
Peppino
Knight Peppino
When Peppino draws the magical sword out of the stone, he transforms into Knight Peppino. His strong armor is so heavy that he can slide down and slam through obstacles.
Ghost Peppino
When Peppino is spooked to the point his ghost leaves his body, he is invincible and can pass through grates.
Sticky Cheese Peppino
Peppino gets covered head to toe in sticky cheese, while he is slow in this form, he can cling to and jump off walls.
Boxed Peppino
Peppino gets crushed flat into a pizza box, in this form he’s more slippery and gains more momentum and moves
Animatronic Peppino
When Peppino gets shoved into an animatronic suit, he will temporarily assume this form before returning to normal.
Clown Peppino
When Peppino steps into a circus tent he emerges as a clown driving a cart for a short time.
Anton
Ball Anton
Anton can be squashed into a ball and bounce around with greater mobility.
Torpedo Anton
When ensnared by a green and white ring, Anton will become a torpedo which flies through water with ease. He can smash through 1-ton block with little issue in this form.
Pinball Anton
After running through a gacha machine, Anton is shrunken down and stuffed into a pinball. It can roll and smash through blocks and stuff.
Angel Anton
After being struck by lightning, Anton’s soul leaves his body and ascends to the afterlife, The End…
But no fr, Anton’s ghost will be carried up by imps until he hits something, in which his body will seemingly recover from nothing.
Oni Anton
When Anton is on his last legs, he can consume all 19 spirits to transform into his most powerful form. In this form, Anton took on Satan after he had absorbed all of the Red.
Weaknesses
Peppino
Peppino is extremely anxious and jumpy in practically any scenario, more often than not leading him into danger. A good amount of his transformations can be reverted from electricity based attacks, as well as the possibility of just swiping his shotgun right out of his hands.
Anton
For all of Anton’s strong suits, he has a good few glaring problems. For one, he’s a raging alcoholic and tends to get tunnel vision whenever his precious, uh, “cola” is in play. He can be drained of all his power and require a recharge if one is capable of draining his redness.
Feats
Peppino
Accomplishments
-Conquered and destroyed the entire Pizza Tower.
-Delivered a legendary smackdown to Pizzaface.
-Runs a failing pizza restaurant, though the future looks bright in the end.
-Was ROBBED at the 2023 Game Awards.
-Survived FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDYS.
-A pretty solid golfer.
Strength
-Strong enough to slam through marble and metal blocks.
-Can easily snap apart metal cages.
-Strong enough to knock aside the massive John Pillar. (0.006 Tons of TNT)
-Strong enough to smash a block into a statue of Pepperman.
-Destroyed the floor of Fake Peppino’s boss arena.
-Can fly through massive cheese spheres. (0.12 Tons of TNT)
-Created and dispersed a heavy storm. (108 Megatons of TNT)
-Piledrived Pizzaface so hard that he destroyed the entire Pizza Tower. (Multi Solar System, possibly 2x Universal)
Speed
-Fast enough to run up walls.
-Can avoid Pepperman charging so fast he creates after images.
-Can punch fast enough to create after images.
-Punches fast enough his fist ignites.
-Dodges cheese bullets.
-Avoids bazooka blasts.
-His Mach Run fluctuates between Mach 1 and Mach 4.
-Can dodge and move in tandem with lightning. (Mach 2603)
Durability
-Can bounce back from any damage in the game.
-Got stabbed to death by Mario.
-Is fine after falling in lava.
Anton
Accomplishments
-Beat Satan’s ass and successfully reclaimed all his spirits back.
-Voted as the most anticipated game of 2024.
-Exists in the real world and is coming for you.
-Agrees Peppino was robbed at the 2023 Game Awards.
-Blessed us all with a chance to win the 19 dollar Antonball Deluxe code.
-Approved by our lord and savior himself.
Strength
-Strong enough to bust up bricks and stone.
-Doesn’t have time for solid walls.
-Can push around a massive eight-ball larger than himself.
-Demolished a temple with nothing but his body.
-Can smash shards off the diamond face of Jewel Ghoul.
-Collapsed Purple Peak in one Antomic Bomb. (1.74 Tons of TNT)
-Piledrived a dragon into Brazil so hard, the entire country was destroyed. (36.32 Teratons of TNT)
-Knocked the moon away in one swing of his hammer. (448.75 Yottatons of TNT)
Speed
-Can avoid sound based attacks from Maulbuster.
-Dodges fireballs from Jewel Ghoul.
-Avoids Satan charging so fast he creates after images.
-Can dodge lightning.
-Tagged the Lightning Larry enemy.
-Flew from an asteroid belt back to Earth in about 30 seconds. (32.11c)
Durability
-Was fine after a big ol’ brick fell on his head.
-Survived falling and pulverizing the top of a car.
-Survived Antomic Bombing all the way from space.
-Can take hits from enemies multiple times his size.
-Got flicked through the Earth’s crust by Satan.
Scaling
Peppino
Bosses
The Pizza Towers most fearsome foes. Pizzaface and his goons are the top dogs of the tower and Peppino takes them all head on on his trip up the tower.
-The Noise pulled a balloon of himself closer to the stage.
-Pizzaface was gonna blow Peppino’s Pizzeria to fucking bits with a laser cannon.
-Pizzaface can lift chunks of the Pizza Tower all the way up to the top.
-Pizzaface warped the moon into his face. (4.53 Exatons of TNT)
Mort the Chicken
Mort the Chicken
-Mort the Chicken
-Survived the force of moving over 500 mph.
-Mort has no fucking feats but his cosmology is the only thing that matters. (See before the Verdict.)
Rivals of Aether
Peppino appears in Rivals of Aether as a workshop character. While practically every other workshop character is entirely fan made, Peppino’s sprites for Rivals of Aether were entirely made by McPig, the creator of Pizza Tower and the music and sound design was done by Mr. Sauceman who did the music for Pizza Tower. As this is an official Pizza Tower promo project, Peppino should be open to scale to the cast of Rivals of Aether.
-Zetterburn and his army were able to set all of the city of Merchant Port aflame.
-Sylvanos could’ve covered all of Aether in forestry and wiped out life on the continent. (551.38 Megatons of TNT)
-Absa could generate and sustain a massive thunderstorm spanning a mountain range. (2.32 Gigatons of TNT)
Anton
Annie Bell
Anton’s roommate and three time winner of the annual Fred Durst look alike contest. Anton and Annie have shown to be physical equals multiple times, such as them fighting alongside each other in Antonblast and fighting against each other in Antonball Deluxe
-Annie is capable of doing THIS.
-Can slam a door so hard it cracks a wall.
-Strong enough to carry a massive trophy.
Danton Small and Nina Smell
Anton and Annie’s self appointed rivals. While Danton started as a more rude and grumpy individual, his time with his wife Nina seemingly loosened him up into a friendlier gentleman who enjoys building and fixing. Anton can face off with both of them in Antonball Deluxe and knocks Danton’s block off constantly in Antonblast.
-Danton and Nina survived the explosion triggered by the Satan Switch which destroyed the entire surface of the planet. (178.7 Petatons of TNT)
-This explosion also destroyed every single stage, including The Big Bath, which is an infinite structure that includes an infinite set of stairs and an infinite hallway. (Universal+, See Before the Verdict)
-Danton is implied to fix every level after their destruction, hence why you can replay levels after setting off the Happy Hour bomb.
Bosses
Anton’s most dastardly foes, this sinful bunch was hired by Satan to block Anton on his rampage through Satan’s kingdom. Anton took on each and all of them to the point of putting them all in the hospital.
-Satan busted through a wall by running.
-It’s implied Satan survived the explosion which destroyed his entire kingdom.
-The bosses reportedly have “earthshaking” power. (20.8 Petatons of TNT)
-Ring-A-Ding casually destroyed four clock towers.
-Ring-A-Ding flew to the moon in at most ten seconds. (0.128c)
-Ring-A-Ding pulled the moon into Earth’s orbit. (12.98 Ronnatons of TNT)
Before the Verdict…
How big is the Pizza Tower?
While the Pizza Tower from the outside doesn’t look too impressive, on the inside it houses skies full of stars hence the multi solar system ends forwarded earlier, it’s clear the Pizza Tower is much MUCH bigger on the inside than the outside would have you believe. A much higher argument comes from an unexpected friend.
Mort the Chicken.
Yes. Mort the Chicken and his home farm appear in the Fun Farm level, since seemingly the entire Mort the Chicken cosmology™ exist inside the tower, this would make it not only a universal sized structure, but the size of two universes. Mort’s cosmology includes his personal universe but also the Cube’s universe, both of which are implied to be full universes. Mort appearing out of the well, the link between his world and the Cube’s world also heavily implies this to be the case. With this included, Peppino would be 2x universal from busting up the entire tower.
Universal+ Antonblast?
Crazy as it sounds, this is probably legit. Anton’s universal+ scaling relies on the level named “The Big Bath.” This level is pretty clearly based on the pool rooms level of the back rooms as it is also a shifting, seemingly never ending set of rooms themed around a pool house. This level includes not only an infinite staircase but also an infinite hallway. This level also references a book called “House of Leaves” by Mark Z. Danielewski in the room named the Great Hall sharing a name with a room in the book. This book revolves around a metaphysical impossible house with infinitely sized structures inside, likely inspiring this level in a way (not the only novel referenced in Anton Blast oddly enough).
While the infinite staircase and hallways are obviously not infinite from a gameplay standpoint, as 1. It’s impossible to display an infinite structure in media and 2. They teleport you to the opposite end to give the illusion that they are infinite in size, similar to the iconic infinite staircase in Super Mario 64. The problem with these rebuttals is they rely on the limits of the game design, but narratively The Big Bath is supposed to be truly infinite.
Now how does this scale to Anton and the crew? The entire purpose of the levels is to set off Brulo’s Happy Hour bombs at the end of the stage to demolish the entire stage, so Anton has access to weapons capable of busting the entire infinite structure. Anton’s most powerful weapon is his F’N hammer as well as the Brulo bombs not being capable of taking out the bosses. Even if you don’t believe that line of scaling, at the end of the game Satan uses his Satan Switch to obliterate his entire kingdom, including The Big Bath. Danton and Nina both survive this explosion and Anton and Annie are their equals, so 4D/Universal+ Anton holds water.
Verdict
Peppino
Advantages:
Super taunt and guns counter Angel Anton through NFI.
Possibly more powerful if you don’t buy 4D Anton.
Superior mobility with Super Jump and multiple ways of flight.
Likely more experienced and a better fighter.
Disadvantages:
Far weaker with 4D Anton.
Slower.
Has never shown to regenerate from just a ghost without outside help
Smaller arsenal.
May never reach the truth.
Anton
Advantages:
Massive power advantage at most ends.
Significantly faster no matter what.
Far better regeneration.
Larger and more destructive arsenal.
Depending how you interpret THAT SCENE, could reverse anything Peppino has. (bro think he GER)
Disadvantages:
Peppino’s super taunt and shotgun could harm Anton even if he turned into Angel Anton.
Possibly weaker if you don’t buy 4D.
Less mobility.
Less experienced.
More limited transformations.
Verdict
Koolguy
Hey gang it’s Koolgay again, with a blog that DIDN’T take 11 months to finish. Peppino and Anton, some very fire games, I’ve been wanting to do a blog for this MU ever since Pizza Tower released almost two years ago, and Anton Blast released… like last month. This MU is really really fun and good and I’m running out of things to say.
Anyways, as for who wins, this really comes down to stats and a little bit of hax, as for stats it’s a pretty easy win for Anton.
With mid ends for both in POWER, Peppino would be high into multi continental while Anton is high into large planetary, though those ends are ignoring their higher feats, being the destruction of the Pizza Tower and the destruction of The Big Bath. Of these two feats, The Big Bath is much much more impressive, being the destruction of an 4-dimensional structure compared to the tower, which is at most made up of two universes, so power is very handily in Anton’s favor either way.
For SPEED, Anton’s feat of flying from an asteroid cluster back to Earth, travelling around 179.5–329 million kilometers in 30 seconds, an FTL+ feat. This is far above any scalable speed feat in Pizza Tower, despite Peppino being known for his speed. Anton also reacts to projectiles on this trip, and tags enemies who kept up with him during such. Peppino has a ship which boasts interplanetary travel speeds, though Peppino sadly does not scale to this. Even if you wanna be a goon and scale both to the hypothetical speed of the Pizza Tower and Big Bath destruction (which I don’t think is legit for either) that would have Peppino at an insane 17.47 Quintillion c, and Anton at infinite speed, which I don’t need to explain who wins there. Speed goes to Anton.
As for HAX, it’s an interesting case. Both Peppino and Anton can continue fighting as spirits with Ghost Peppino and Angel Anton, in these forms Anton has much better regeneration, being able to regenerate from just his soul while Peppino has much better control of the fight with his Non Physical Interaction. So while both can finish the fight, Peppino relies on him forcing Anton into his Angel Anton form, which is unlikely given the stat advantage. There’s also THAT scene that I’ve mentioned a few times, where for absolutely no reason, Smallbusters missiles defy physics and divert from attacking Anton. If you wanna believe this is something Anton can just do, this negates Peppino’s entire arsenal and ability set. If you don’t buy that, Peppino would win handily in an equal stats match, if you do, Anton takes this category.
As for SKILL AND EXPERIENCE, this is a pretty easy win for Peppino, with him being older and is implied to have gone on more adventures. Especially if you include Rivals of Aether, where Peppino contends with people who have been training all their life, and people who know nothing else but fighting.
In conclusion, Peppino's endurance, odd abilities and determination made this an intense battle. It seems there is only room for one of us in this… Pizza Tower. Peppino got Antonblast™ed or whatever.
The Winner is Dynamite Anton.
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